Right Dating

Since I have moved I have had many more opportunities to date, and I feel like I keep on getting it wrong!

Especially when my friends are all having relationships.

But then again, none of their relationships last.

Sometimes I think, maybe I am going about this the completely wrong way.

"Maybe it is ok to just play a guy, date him for fun, knowing I will just break up with him later."

But then a little voice inside my head says:

"Why? Why would you want to do that? Not only will you break his heart, but yours as well."

I don't want that.

I want to have lasting relationships, lasting friendships.

I want to be a person who lifts people up, not pulls them down.

So what is the "right" way to date?

Well "For the Strength of Youth" says

"Plan dating activities that are positive and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other. Do things that will help you and your companions maintain your self-respect and remain close to the Spirit of the Lord."

What a good idea!

When expensive things are planned for dates, behavior is on its best. 

I know that I love inexpensive things, like stargazing, walks, going to the park, window shopping, having paint wars, going on hikes, doing service for other people.

Another aspect that goes along with that quote is texting.

When I meet someone for the first time and then I go home, I immediately text time

"Hi, how are you? I had a fun time tonight."

There is no cool down time.

And you have constant interaction with that person, but without really getting to know them.

No first hand experience.

I have been trying to text a lot less, but also I think it is a good way of just keeping up with people, especially when they live far away.

I don't want to text the guys I like 24/7 because it is empty conversation, sure I may learn your favorite color is blue and you enjoy Chinese food and you are an only child.

But I don't know what you are like. I don't get to get to know you myself. I only get to know what you choose to tell me.

So I meet a guy, I like him, and I text him every day, then I spend time with him every day. 3 days later, I realize I am putting this person first in my life and I have known him for 3 days.

That is not healthy.

I should not go around from guy to guy just testing out the waters.

"Do not dally along in a fruitless, frustrating, and frivolous dating game that only raises hopes and brings disappointment and in some cases heartache."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"Do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord's confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion."

-President Ezra Taft Benson

I want to create meaningful relationships.

As much as I want to have a boyfriend, my significant other, I don't want to rush into it. I don't want to take it quickly.

I want to take it slowly.

When my mom was dating she would meet a guy at a dance, dance a few songs with him then give him her number and go home.

She would call her friends and talk about him, remembering all the amazing things he was.

Then he would call. 

Maybe the next day, maybe next week, but he would call and she would know he had some of the same feelings.

He would ask her out and then they would go to the visitors center at the temple for a movie on Sunday. Super free and fun!

"Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. A Person generally marries someone from among those with whom he associates...A girl may say, 'Oh I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a "fun" date' But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling love with someone who may never accept the gospel."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

Or who may never be the right one.

In this fast paced world we live in, I need to take it slowly.